After what is quite a mouthful of Diwali sweets and an eyeful of Sooraj Bharjatya directed family pictures sprouting over social media, it is safe to bid the long holiday farewell. Anyone unhappy about the holiday ending, surely isn’t either in my country or in my Facebook account.
So here’s why one should look forward to Monday-
- You will be able to inhale a lungful of clean air containing only a dozen exhaust pipes in your mouth enroute work, smelly dustbins across the city shoved in your noses thanks to garbage pickers on holiday and proud gaseous reminders of The Avengers in our Diwalish intestines. Goodbye firecrackers. Thank you for knocking off a few years from our already shortened lives.
#lightsSwachBharatAbhiyaanRocket
- You can gear up to watch a fresh dose of radioactive poo dished out in the new movie which wishes us Happy New Year. I almost locked the toilet door, jumped into the commode and flushed myself out dreading the misus dragging me out for this one.
#bottlesUpAllHostileEmotionsChakra
- We can resume having a laugh about the political developments scheduled to take place ushering in a new state government holding up each others chaddis.
#holdOnToYourChaddiChakra
- You will no longer be bombarded with promotional emails from e-commerce portals selling kidneys at an 80% discount. No brainer. You will also be fortunate enough to not see the latest Diwali purchases being boasted around on crackbook.
“Luk luk m8… mah bro got meh a new brain ! Its cumpletely empty u knw!”
#UnfriendUrgentlyPublicly
- You can finally get a nice meaty dish home delivered guilt free because the dratted places will stay open.
#ChickenBiryaniKiRaahKhatam
So stop being a gloom doom and cheer up.
For people with kids on a holiday until school reopens after an additional week, best of luck.
Happy Diwali.
mrtanmay.com 