You always have such a guy at work. He makes you want to run to a blackboard and scratch the hell out of your long nails on it. He simply, was born for one and only one purpose and that was to annoy the living daylights out of you. He enters without permission and is extremely elusive when you want to vent it out on him.
He enters without a sound and unceremoniously throws himself on my table almost on my phone. You should know that I am very protective of my gadgets so as much as I want to snap him in half, I try to maintain a straight face. While staring at him, I realize how futile this fight is going to be. I keep my phone in a ridiculously earmarked position in my pant pockets, such that the screen faces inside, safely on my thigh, protected from prospective things that might dash against my leg during my extremely eventful day of sitting on a chair tapping away like a prancing pony or an extremely drugged unicorn. I hope you understand how particular I am. OCD’d rather. So when I have it on my table charging, it is perfectly aligned below my monitor so that I can keep an eye on it at all times, easily accessible to my left hand to mute those calls before they go supersonic. I think about how my blood boils when people dump their mobile, laptop chargers without coiling them perfectly…I stop myself before my mind wanders off to father places where bad things could be done to such people; I have more pressing issues at hand. I gather my thoughts and turn back to him.
He looks really green. Not green like the Hulk, but green like a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong, green like Sunny Deol’s face when he sees Tiger Shroff dance. Yeah, something along those lines. Of the top of my head, I cannot think of anything I have over this chap, to seem him so glum, eyes full of dead envy, giving off an eerie unblinking stare, quite unnerving really. I do a double take, look elsewhere and look back at him real close. He hasn’t moved, hasn’t even blinked and continues to look at me with the same dratted expression. I don’t know what the hell I should make out of this expectantly hesitant face but I sure know he does look like an imbecile.
No, I agree I could use some entertainment during my evening cuppa at work but this is bordering on the verge of silent annoyance leading to death. I have been warned by the company to keep distractions at a minimum and to keep windows closed at all times for safety purposes, lest I decide I’ve had enough of going through emails delicately worded in English by Rakhi Sawant and messrs who likes to ‘cc everyone including the HR, her cabwala and my doodhwala. It seems like I have been waiting years for an app, that lets me taze the receiver of my email at the touch of a button. Only if that could solve her grammar. Come back brain…
A nerve twitched, a book picked, and smash it goes on his now greasy body all over my desk.
Watch out for mosquitoes, Dengue cases on the rise.
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